Entries from June 2008
A couple Jehovah’s Witnesses came by just now (new people, not our usual pair,) and I thought the interaction was pretty amusing.
Bob – “blah blah Noah’s Ark. blah blah teach us a lesson. Do you think the flood actually happened or is it just a story to teach us a lesson?”
Me – “It happened.”
Bob – “Yes! blah blah lesson. So you must read the Bible?”
Me – “No.”
Bob – “…”
Me – “Yeah, never read the Bible, never really been to church.”
Bob – “Ah, well you believe in God right?”
Me – “No.”
Bob – “Uh…”
Me – “I believe that the flood happened, because there is geological evidence, but whether Noah was there or the Ark, I can’t say.”
Bob – “Ah… Yes, the evidence… And, have you always felt that way about God?”
Me – “Yes.”
That’s when his tone changed to how everyone needed spirituality. He gave me a couple magazines, we chatted about the shit-storm that was Nova and then he and his J-partner went on their ways.
It’s nice when people who come to your home to spout their beliefs at you actually respect your beliefs. I liked this pair better than our usual ones, because as nice as the other ladies are, they are a little more insistent with the “Yay, God!” propoganda.
Categories: Japan · Randomness
This morning, I did a special “English at the Zoo” lesson for about 20 or 25 kids aged 3-6. It was a lot of fun, and probably wouldn’t have gone off quite so well had I not been there because my boss was having trouble getting her Macbook to show things correctly on the projector and no one else at the zoo had ever used a Mac. So, even though her computer was all in Japanese, I was able to fix the problem in about 2 minutes because of this crazy idea I had, “There is a problem in displaying something. How about I go to the ‘Display Settings’?” For the life of me, I still just don’t understand why people are confused by Macs.
Anyway, at the end of the lesson we took the kids to see the bear cage, and as fortune would have it, the two Spectacled Bears were having sex.
After the lesson finished, I had some time before my private lesson, so I decided to take a walk around the zoo. I have lived within walking distance of the zoo during my entire time in this country, but I had never been there before, and now I’m glad that I never went. Tennoji Zoo is just a really sad, small, and very dirty zoo. The vast majority of the animals don’t have enough space and have given up on even getting up (as you can see with the leopard pictured here.)
The zoo itself is in a dirty and seedy area of the city (which many locals will tell you is the most dangerous place in Osaka) that is basically a flea market by day and a pan-sexual bazaar by night. Aside from the zoo, the area is also home to the biggest red-light district in Western Japan, and our favorite kushikatsu restaurant (though unlike the video, our place is not one where you cook it yourself, it is Bob Marley themed.)
Anyway, come see the rest of my pics from Tennoji Zoo.
Categories: Uncategorized
Your Debut Album
The name of my band (and actually the best name for a band that I’ve ever heard) is:
Capital Punishment in Latvia
Album: The Other Side is Physical
Cover
Categories: Internet · Randomness
I guess more than a study in Osaka fashion these photos are just to create a sense of the people in this city. The fashion is what originally started me into taking the pics, but overall it’s more about the incredible image consciousness of Japan.
Every Japanese person will admit to the society as a whole being obsessed with appearance. However, as I’ve mentioned before, plastic surgery is very rare here. Most common is the surgery to make their eyelids more “Western”, but all other issues are dealt with by applying a few inches of makeup or an amazing hairstyle. Oh, and hats. Lots of hats. I personally enjoy seeing women in cowboy hats, but that’s not too common, mostly it will be awful trucker caps, or my personal favorite, the fedora.
Of course there are always the different groups in Japan. The hippies, the host boys, the schoolgirls, and of course the poodles. But aside from that there is a pretty solid variety. Unfortunately, there is also a huge population of fashion victims in this country, but I guess that comes with striving to look different.
One fun thing about taking all these pics is that Japanese people are quite different from Westerners when it comes to cameras. In America, if I were to sit in a downtown area and simply photograph people going by, people would get angry and look at me like a pervert. But, here in Japan people smile and pose. If someone does get annoyed, it’s probably because you don’t take their picture.
It’s just a lot of fun to watch people. I’ve always been a big fan. You get to see incredibly interesting human interactions and behaviors. One of my favorite things to watch is the subtle ways that people have of avoiding the sun here. Because the sun is evil. Or, seeing how meticulously put together someone is and knowing that it took them hours to get the look just right, not to mention the touch-ups on the train. I just wish I could get better pics of the makeup because it is truly ridiculous what is done here.
Anyway, I don’t want to write any more. I just want to link this picture and of course, the rest of the album. I’m out.
Categories: Japan · Photos
I’m still not 100% sure how it happened, but I was talking to a few Japanese businessmen (of course after some continuous drinking) and suddenly I was showing them that if you tense up your abs and someone hits you, it doesn’t really hurt. So, at about 2AM in the Shinsaibashi arcade next to the Dotombori bridge, I punched a Japanese businessman in the stomach, he stumbled backwards a couple steps, and said, “Thank you.”
Bizare.
Categories: Japan · Randomness
Today, as with every Friday for the past month and a half or so, I’ve been teaching a lovely little girl out near Kobe. And today, unlike every Friday for the past month and a half, I actually took the time to go to Kobe after my lesson instead of just coming straight back to Osaka. I came back with the same realization I have every time I go to Kobe: I should go there more.
Kobe just feels so much nicer than Osaka. Yes, superficially it is nicer. It’s new (because of the earthquake), it’s clean, the air is clean, there are no bikes in pedestrian areas, and the women aren’t dressed as overtly slutty as in Osaka. It’s just so nice. That said, the entire downtown area is basically one big red light district that is Japanese-only. Not that I have any interest in frequenting a Soapland, or snack bar or what have you, but because all of the landscape is taken up by places like that, the overall variety of the area is seriously limited. There aren’t many good stores, the restaurants are fairly gaijin-unfriendly, and really the best place to go is Chinatown, which unfortunately closes at 9PM, restaurants included.
That said, as a place for a random wander, it is a breath of fresh air. Literally. When I got off the train back in Osaka, within 3 minutes of exiting the station I:
-was hit with the overwhelming, ground-in stench of urine and feces.
-was nearly run over/deafened by assholes on bikes with squealing breaks.
-was almost hit by a taxi.
-saw a J-boy either a) try to lure a whorishly dressed girl into a host bar or b) lure her into a porno filming.
It’s good to be home.
Categories: Japan
So, for one reason or another, I’ve been a bit annoyed for the last couple days, and rather than watch something I know I’d enjoy, I decided to torture myself. I decided to give Spider-man 3 another try. I’m still not sure why I hate myself enough to do something like this.
The first time I saw the movie, I wanted to break things and possibly poison everyone involved in making this pile of shit. This time, I’m just hoping for all out nuclear war right now. It’s the only solution.
I really don’t even want to get into why I hate this movie so much because it would take up far too much time and space. The movie has already stolen 5 hours of my life, I don’t want to give it more. Let’s just leave it at the fact that everything about this movie is an abomination against intelligent humans everywhere. (On an unrelated side note: every Japanese person I’ve ever met loves this movie. I don’t say this to insult the overall intelligence of this country, just the movie watching intelligence.
Oh god, the deus ex machina just kicked in. I need a drink if I’m going to finish this movie.
Categories: Annoyance · TV/Movies
Part 4, the grand finale, takes us to a little porn shop that Steve and I stumbled upon on Dotombori in an area where we had previously walked about 300 times.
Keep in mind that if you go into a regular bookstore or convini you will find porn mags galore, but all you are allowed to see is boob. If you find a Playboy you will notice that a shopkeeper had carefully gone through page by page to scratch out any possible vagina viewing. And, of course video porn is carefully blurred so as to make sure that no one is sure exactly how sex happens. The shame of this country is that there are no laws at all for illustrations or animation, wherein you can show anything you want (let us not forget the horrors of tentacle porn) including underage girls and robots having sex. The logic in this place astounds me.
The porn shop
Categories: Japan · Photos
Part 3 takes us on a short tour of the neighborhood in which I live. The lead picture you can see here pretty much sums it all up. This is the corner a couple buildings down from our apartment, at which you can find a Yakuza headquarters, a porn shop, and the National Bunraku (marionette) theater.
We live in a hell of an area. One block has the mob, the next is homeless people and the next is a Lamborghini store.
Come take the tour.
Categories: Japan · Photos
Part two of the series takes us into Amemura (America-town) and a little back on Dotombori for a look at the fashion that can be found in Osaka.
The Japanese are very very conscious of appearances, so they put a lot of time and money into fashion. Oddly, they don’t put much money into plastic surgery, save for the “Western eyelid surgery”. The fashion trends are very grouped. There are the hop-hip kids, the princesses, the punks, the goths, the dolls, the Bon Jovis and the surfers. They make up the majority of the groups in Osaka, but outside of that is still a very distinct smattering of hippie fashion and hobo/gypsy influences.
I felt a little awkward taking pictures of people randomly on the street (mostly because they all probably would have posed and flashed the annoying peace sign,) so I took the pics with my arm hanging at my side (stealth style!) As a result the framing is awkward and some pics are pretty blurry.
Osaka Fashion
Categories: Japan · Photos
